Broken
by NaylorAndBenson
Summary: Olivia is a strong, caring person who is there for everyone. No matter what you'll be able to rely on her. But she's stuck. Trapped. Not only in a relationship but in her own mind and she can't see a way out. Is there someone who can reach her before she's broken for good? Rolivia later on & Rated M due to violence and language.
1. Chapter 1

The light blared through Olivia's eyelids as she slept causing her to wake up. She blinked a couple times, not used to such a bright light first thing in the morning. She frowned. _Why was it light?_ This light anyway.

She normally woke for work early, much earlier by the looks of things. It was never this light.

She'd glanced at the clock on her bedside table and her eyes widened. She should have been there over an hour ago.

"Shit," she muttered.

She rushed through her morning routine; showing, dressing and getting coffee, all the while wondering how she managed to miss the alarm.

Before she stepped in the shower she looked around quickly for her phone, wanting to call the captain to let him know she was okay. The team all knew the dangers on the streets better than must and it was extremely rare for her to be late, normally being last to leave and one of the first to arrive in the morning. She looked in all the places she normally left and sighed. There was no sign of it anywhere and she was wasting time, so decided to carry on without doing so. She also checked her alarm clock was working, which it was. While doing so discovered the alarm had been turned off.

She undressed and stepped into the shower after changing the water to cool in hope to wake and refresh herself. Turning around to let the water run down her back she caught sight if something through the glass. Her phone. Last night can flooding back and she froze.

In the precinct the detectives where all sat at their desks worrying about what had happened to Olivia; where was she and way hadn't she called.

Amanda sighed as Olivia didn't answer again.

"Are we going to do anything about this except call?" she asked, knowing the extremes of danger she could be in at this point.

If she was, making calls was just wasting time, they should be looking for some indication of where she was. They should be at her apartment, asking neighbours. Not sat at their desks leaving pointless voicemail after pointless voicemail.

"If we don't hear anything in the next five minutes you and Fin can go over to her apartment, check it out, talk to her neighbours," Don answered, having left his office to see if any if his team had managed to get hold of her.

Amanda nodded, not exactly agreeing with the arrangement but going with what the captain orders were. She could tell by the looks in the others faces they weren't either. She dialled Olivia's number for another pointless time.

Olivia had managed to get herself out of the daze she had been in and continued, trying to push everything it the back of her mind, not wanting to waste anymore time.

She was now sat in the car just minutes away from the precinct, having forgotten the coffee, for she could put up with the crappy stuff they had at work.

Finally arriving she climbed out of her car after checking her make up in the mirror, rushed through the doors and into the lift, walking out of the lift just as Captain okay'd Amanda and Fin to go to her apartment.

As she rushed over to where they were stood they all turned around, relief flooding their faces as they saw her. Before anyone could ask her where she had been or what had happened, Cragen told her he wanted in a word in his office.

"Now, please detective," he said as he walked off.

She followed him over and closed the door once they were both inside, debating whether to stand or sit. He sat in his chair and turned to look at her.

"We were worried sick Olivia, where were you," he asked.

She walked over to his desk and took a seat in front of him while she started to explain.

"My alarm was turned off and I woke up late," she said, knowing how pathetic it sounded, like a school girl explaining why she was late.

"And you didn't think to call?"

"I've lost my mobile and our home phone has been disconnected," she again explained pathetically.

Cragen sighed. He knew something had been going on with Olivia but every time he asked she had denied everything, saying she was "just tired" or they usual "I'm fine".

He also knew he wasn't the only one to notice something was wrong, he had seen the looks the others had shared when she turned up in the state she did some mornings. A couple of the team had even come to him, asking if he knew what was going on. Nick asking if there was anything he should know about concerning his partner, anything that could affect her work. But like them he knew nothing.

"Is everything alright?" he asked her, knowing the answer already.

"Yeah, fine," she answered, a smile plastered on her face.

He nodded, not believing her, and let her leave the office.

There was something defiantly not right and he was determined to find out what it was. He just didn't realise what he was getting himself into.

A/N: Okay, so this is my first SVU fic, so I apologise if it isn't very good. I'm trying to get the characters right but I'm not exactly sure if it's working. Reviews are hugely appreciated, especially constructive criticism as I want to be able to write the best I can. Thanks for reading.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: So I didn't put a disclaimer on my first chapter, but sadly I don't own anything or anyone except Mark.

Enjoy

The day at work had been much busier than anyone had expected it to be, almost everyone working late into the night on the case, struggling to find answers as well as struggling to fight sleep off as they sat at their desks littered with notes and coffee cups.

The case and arisen earlier that day, just after Olivia had arrived. She was pleased for something to take her mind off everything, and hadn't thought about any of the events from last night since that morning, instead concerned for the woman and child they had found in an abandoned apartment. The man had clearly been a professional, clearing everything that could have given away his identity, leaving no prints anywhere, washing away any fluids.

Olivia rested her head in hands, not in defeat, but in an attempt to think better. She squeezed her eyes shut, going over all the notes they already had, knowing anything she could piece together would be a lead, no matter how ridiculous it seemed. She had read over everything many times already, as had everyone else, but they hadn't got very far yet. With the little girl in hospital, recovering from an operation and the mother already dead, they hadn't been able to speak to either of them, and Olivia along with everyone else thought talking to the young girl wouldn't get them very far. They had worked with young children countless times before and they all knew they often struggled for a very long time after experiencing trauma similar to this.

She sighed and picked up her almost empty coffee cup and finished it off, nothing coming to mind yet. She looked around the office, taking in everyones tired and frustrated looks, knowing that hers would look very similar. The room was almost in silence, only the tick of the clock and occasional flick of pages when someone thought they had picked something up, meaning the shouts down the corridor gained everyones attention, taking them away from their thoughts.

Olivia frowned, recognising one of the voices. Along with the others, she got up and went over to see what was going on. It was Mark. An angry Mark who had managed to storm into the building, creating commotion as he did so. His eyes met with Olivia's and she looked down, feeling uncomfortable. Just seeing his face made her think back to everything that had happened between them last night. She stiffened, knowing he was still watching her.

Now knowing everything was alright, everyone knowing Mark after meeting him several times, they all returned to their desks, leaving Olivia and Mark to themselves to talk. Amanda had been watching Olivia closely, noting the change in her stance. Her normal high held head was lowered, her fierce glance changed, her eyes instead shifting around, not daring to look at anyone. Amanda frowned, the only reason she would change so was because of the appearance of Mark, but when they had met up all those times, the two seemed inseparable and completely in love, Amanda remembered the comment she had made to the others about how lucky Olivia was to have met such an amazing man, and he really was. Unless it was an act. She watched the two, Olivia almost back to her normal self, there was something else though, something she couldn't put her finger.

They talked, he left, she returned to her desk without a word to anyone. Olivia frowned, she had wanted to keep everything going on at home a secret from everyone at work, and hoped no one would have noticed the change in her. She of course realised how unlikely it was, being in a room with detectives whose job was to notice small things, like her change. She looked around, trying to tell if anyone had noticed anything, seeing if anyone was looking at her, trying to work out what was going on. Everyone seemed completely back into their work except Amanda who kept looking over to Olivia, frowning slightly. Olivia was hoping that she hadn't noticed the change, but was instead wondering what Mark wanted. Her thoughts were interrupted, when Fin came over with more coffee, seeing the exasperated look in her eyes.

"What did Mark want?" he asked her, knowing that it was unlike him to cause a scene.

"We were supposed to be going out for dinner tonight. I completely forgot to call him and tell him I wouldn't be able to make it, he thought I had stood him up, so came to see what was so important," she explained.

"Dinner, huh? Anything special going on?" he asked, not wanting to question why he would assume Liv would stand him up. She would tell them if, or when, she was ready.

"Two year anniversary of us being together," she said, a little let down they had forgotten, though knowing she couldn't really blame them as she knew how busy they had been. "And he has a big conference for a couple of days, so he's leaving New York tomorrow," she continued, hoping to take the attention away from her previous comment.

"Liv, I'm so sorry, we completely forgot."

"It's understandable, there been a lot going on, and it isn't important compared to this case. Really, don't worry," she told him.

"At least let us buy you a few drinks tomorrow or something. The squad can all go out, we really need a break from working on this case and unless anything pops up, we should all be able to get a couple hours off to do something."

She looked up at him, the usual care in his shining through, she wanted to make her feel okay, or at least better. And he wanted to apologise. She knew everyone in the squad cared about each other and she knew that if she told anyone they would do anything to save her from what was going on. But she couldn't. She couldn't watch the care change to sympathy. She couldn't let the small acts or bringing coffee over change into a huge act. She couldn't take their minds off all the important cases they saw. And what if they didn't believe her? They had all met Mark, they had all seen how perfect he was at first.

She had worked with SVU for many years and although almost always found a great connection with the victims she never fully understood why they didn't speak up, why they didn't tell anyone. And know she did. The detective had turned into the victim.

As the thought ran through her head bile rose to her mouth. She swallowed it down and plastered a smile over her face, hoping he wouldn't see through it. He did, or course, he knew Olivia, he just didn't say anything.

"That would be great, thanks."

A/N: So, I made this chapter longer because my first chapter was quite short and Tappingonhiswindow suggested I make them longer so yeah, they should all be longer from now on. I was planning on updating regularly but I've just started college and I'm not sure when I'm going to have a chance to update, at the moment I'm writing chapter 5 so I hopefully won't keep you waiting ages waiting.

Thank you for reading, please review


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

Monday night quickly turned into Tuesday morning, the detectives still sat at their desks trying to find a lead. They were going to visit the young girl in the hospital on Wednesday and they were still trying to find information from the body of her mother, with little success.

Most of the detectives had taken a couple hours rest through the night, but Olivia had thrown herself into the case. Having seen the injuries inflicted on both mother and daughter her heart bleed. Cases were always bad, horrific. But when young children are involved she found it even worse. She knew they had to find the guy that did this and she understood how hard it would be to find any lead so had decided to keep looking through everything, there had to be something, no matter how small, that could help them find something.

The time had travelled quickly and she didn't realise it was morning until she was disturbed by Cragen who appeared from his office.

"Right detectives, you've worked hard through the night. And we all need to be at the top of our game tomorrow, so I want you all to go home, take a break, rest up," he told them.

They all started packing up there things, Olivia placing the notes in her bag so she could look at them while she was at home, maybe she would find something.

Cragen returned to his office and the detectives made their way to the lift. Now she wasn't working, Olivia realised how tired she was, and she craved her bed.

"Don't forget tonight guys," Fin reminded them. "Drinks at the bar for Olivia and Marks two year anniversary of being together."

The others all nodded, knowing he meant the bar they usual went to for Friday night drinks.

"Thanks guys," she said while smiling, although she just wanted to forget about Mark while he was away. Forget everything and just work on the case. Distract herself.

The lift doors opened into the bottom floor and they all got out, making their way over to the door and then to their cars.

When Olivia reached the block of flats she lived in she parked the car and climbed out. Working all through the night had really taken its toll. Normally she would be fine, or at least not this tired so she had no idea why this had made such a big impact. As she made her way to the apartment she shared with Mark she thought through the previous nights. She would be kidding herself if she said she had slept well. In all fairness she hadn't slept a whole night undisturbed for a very long time.

She unlocked their apartment and was relieved to see Mark had already left. If he was still here she would be in trouble; she had spent the whole night out and there would be nothing she could say to make him believe she was at work. When he got back, of course he would teach her a lesson but she could deal with it then. She couldn't now. Not after the previous couple of nights.

After locking the door she kicked off her shoes, hung up her coat and went over to the table to but her bag down. She saw a note, scribbled in Marks almost unreadable writing.

_I'm going to find out where you were last night. You didn't come home and you're going to pay you little slut. The phones still disconnected and I'll know if you go out. _

Tears sprung to her eyes. She never imagined it to be her. She never imagined herself to be the person in a relationship like this. She saw people like this all the time, she knew what she was looking out for to stay safe. She realised how easy it was to get trapped in a relationship you thought was fine.

He would find out if she went out tonight, she didn't know how but he would. And she would have to pay. But she could see her freedom slipping through her fingers. This could be the last chance she could have to meet up with her colleagues before Mark came home, before it was completely taken.

She left the note and bag on the table and went to the bedroom. She didn't have the energy to change so crawled into bed in the clothes she had worn to work and lead there. Sleep soon took her and she dreamt of how Mark would punish her when he returned.

Olivia twisted and turned in her sleep, thrashing her arms out as if trying to push someone away. If you looked closely you would be able to see they were weak. Weak compared to her normal fights. As if she wasn't strong enough to fight off the demons she was fighting.

"Stop it," she screamed, still asleep.

Tears spilled from her eyes and her screams turned to murmurs, as if giving up. She was sweating, the sheets wet when she finally awoke. She sat bolt upright, out of breath from the fight she had been putting up.

She looked at the clock. It was almost 1pm. She had been asleep for a couple of hours before she had woken.

Still crying, she made her way to the bathroom, peeling off her sweat ridden clothes and putting them in the laundry bin. She climbed into the cool shower, scrubbing her body. Trying to get rid of the feeling. The dirt. His feel. His touch. Just him.

By the time she stepped out she was red. But still not clean. There was nothing she could do. No amount of scrubbing was going to make her clean.

She sat on the bathroom floor and cried. And once she was out of tears she wanted to scream. Let out her rage. Break something. She was angry at him, at herself more though. For letting herself get into this situation. She should have realised. She should have noticed something was wrong. This was her fault.

She reached into the cupboard under the sink and pulled out her razor blades she kept under there.

She took one out if the packet and bought it to her arm. She held it there for a couple of minutes. Waiting.

Eventually she put it back. She couldn't. She was stronger than that. She left the bathroom, pulled on some comfortable pants and a loose t-shirt and got the files she had brought home for the case.

She let her hair dry naturally and pretend what had happened in the bathroom hadn't.


End file.
